Many of you know I was in a car accident the day before yesterday. This is not intended to downplay how serious the accident could have been as the other driver very nearly hit both a car and an 18-wheeler head-on before being aimed head-on at me. The damage is negligible since we both walked away free from harm. And for that, the other driver and I, and our families are very thankful.
Let me also preface this by saying that my own wonderful Rancher/Genius Software Analyst Daddy died in a car accident several years ago, and because of this, car accidents of any sort cause my soft heart to twinge unimaginably.
What I DID say was “Oh my God! Oh my God! …. OH MY GOD!”
Then I said a couple of expletives. (Very weak expletives in comparison to the range of possible expletives that one could say when they think they are fixing to die suddenly and expletives seem to just release themselves before they can be restrained from the atmosphere.)
Nonetheless, THESE are The 13 Other Things I said Before the Crash:
1. I love my family!
2. I hope the life insurance is enough for the kids’ college, in case I have to ‘follow the light’.
3. If this does or doesn’t hurt, I’m SOOOO not cooking dinner tonight!
4. I wonder what the kids will major in when they get to college.
5. I hope the other driver has insurance.
6. I hope the rental car has Bluetooth.
7. Do my underthings match?
8. I hope they don’t rip my clothes off to make a tourniquet.
9. I so wish I had thrown out that McDonald’s bag that’s flying around my car.
10. I might cry.
11. Good decision buying the waterproof mascara v. the lengthening formula at Walgreen’s yesterday.
12. Isn’t this supposed to be the moment where Waylon Jennings pauses the scene and says something like, “Well folks, I hope Gina wasn’t fishing the day they passed out good luck…”?
13. If I survive this, I will never smoke again!
14. Wait. I don’t smoke.
15. I’m not doing laundry tonight either!
16. My brother-in-law is on the fire department, someone tell him if he has to make the choice to give me CPR, just leave me here because that is icky.
Okay, maybe that was 16 things, but when one has only a few split seconds to think, I’m sure one does not have a lot of control over what, or how much, goes through one’s mind.